First of all... thanks Jackie for the e-mail, titled "Write, Sister". I thought of it the other day, but then I threw that idea right out the window... "Who wants to read it?" Well, I guess I know I have 1 follower, at least! Thanks for reading, Jacks!
On the ride to work today, I was listening to a CD. The speaker had spoken at the Magnificat Women's Conference, which is held locally. I love to go, but haven't made it for the last few years.
The speaker is a father of 4. He was talking about praying with his children at night. He said that each evening they pray, "Father, make of us a saint, no matter what the cost." It made me a little emotional.
No matter what it costs?
I think I'm a little afraid to pray for that. You see, I want to be a saint, too. And I want my children to be saints. I want us all to be more holy, because it will bring us closer to Jesus. But I often think, "that's not possible for me." Yet, I have learned so much from the lives of the saints, and many of them were ordinary people like me.
I'm just a little afraid. I know that I hold back what God deserves to have. And I think I do it because I am afraid. I'm afraid where God might take me. I guess I have trouble trusting my heavenly Father, who loves me the most. What a strange thing. I know He is in control, and here I am, still trying to hold onto my own sense of control.
Sometimes when I pray, I gather the courage to say, "May Your will be done in my life." And then, it's like I'm waiting... for the thunder. I, who have been so blessed in my life, am still afraid to fully trust in God.
And then while eating supper tonight, I had an epiphany. I was thinking... "Where have I heard that phrase before?" Your will be done.
Every single time that I have said the Our Father, I have asked that His will be done.
Our Father who art in heaven
Hallowed be thy name
They kingdom come
Thy will be done
On Earth as it is in heaven....
I have said that prayer a thousand times. Now I will mean it when I say it!
Yay, she writes again! And so beautifully. You have a gift, please continue to share it:-) And yes, so hard to let go of control. Divine Mercy prayer to our rescue! Love you!
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